As a teacher, I have learned some very important things about children. The biggest lesson I have learned is that children do not come with a manual, and they are practically impossible to figure out at the best of times. You never know what you’re going to get. Just when you thought you’ve developed a rapport with a student, they’ll turn around and egg your house. Just when you thought a student couldn’t possibly hate you more than they already do, they give you a box of chocolates at Christmas time and thank you for “putting up with them”. So, I’m certainly not an expert, and have yet to figure out “the teenage beast” as I’ve heard them being referred to in the past. I’m sure I never will. But I know one thing….I know that there are some kids out there that are raising themselves. And there are kids out there that feel they have absolutely nobody to talk to about their life. There are kids out there that would have been someone completely different than they are if they had been given a different path in life and didn’t have to meet so many daily struggles. From my personal perspective, from the experiences I have had with children, this is what I feel children need in their life:
1. Parents that don’t assume that their children know they are loved. Children need to be told they are loved…daily. “I love you” never gets old to a child.
2. Parents that do not choose their child’s religion for them. Just because a person has a specific faith doesn’t mean that their children should. Religion shouldn’t be a tradition; it should be an intrinsic, personal belief. If they feel their child should have a religious upbringing, perhaps they should share the religions of the world with them, and let them make their own choices with that breadth of knowledge when they’re good and ready. This will not only tap into their understanding of the world historically and geographically, but may even help to create a sense of empathy and tolerance for other perspectives and beliefs. Isn’t it incredible how much hatred is created in the name of religion?
3. Parents that read books with their children, starting when they’re in the womb. I just heard a great documentary on CBC radio about how fetuses hear sounds/voices while in the womb and this actually influences the tonation of their cries. Babies cry differently in different areas of the world. So, they can hear you. Start reading to your belly button and your little bambino may come out reciting Chaucer. There is absolutely no reason why a child should go through life struggling with text. Reading opens the world to endless possibility and that opportunity is available to all children.
4. Parents that let the dog kiss their face even though they lick their bum (er…the pet, that is!). This shows children that pets are an integral part of the family and deserve the same amount of love as everyone else.
5. Parents that realize that just because they want it, doesn’t mean that their child should get it. Yearning and working for something isn’t such a bad thing. Sometimes that creates motivation.
6. Parents that realize their child deserve breakfast every single day. Better yet, that their child deserves three healthy square meals a day that do not ooze out of plastic packaging. Better yet, these children deserve to eat this meal with at least one family member that wants to know how their day was and what they learned in school and if everything is alright in their world.
7. Parents that don’t call their children derogatory names, even if they think they’re teasing. Children don’t have the same capabilities as adults to understand the nuances of ribbing someone. Those jokes are usually taken very seriously and lead to low self esteem. I don’t know anybody that thought being called “stupid” was funny and didn’t impact their life in some way.
8. Parents that aren’t afraid to act goofy and stick cooked spaghetti up their nose and pretend they’re a swamp monster, or get their butt kicked in a wicked game of “Go Fish”.
9. Parents that don't tell their child to choose a career path because “they’ll make good money”. They should let them choose a career path that is linked to their interests and passions. Happiness will follow, as will money, or something else of equal value.
10. Parents that make their children lose some times. That’s life, and the sooner children figure that out, the easier it will be to accept that life is full of pockets of loss here and there. How we deal with loss can be life changing.
11. Parents that nurture their children’s changing interests. One day they may want to be a hockey player, one day they may want to be a rock star. It doesn’t have to cost money to see if they are truly interested, especially when there are libraries around. Or imagination. It’s amazing what can happen when children are just given the liberty to use their imagination without feeling embarrassed or ashamed or humiliated.
12. Parents that don’t judge their child’s appearance or anyone elses appearance for that matter.
13. Parents that take their children on trips with them, even when it means packing extra food, extra supplies, extra everything. These parents also don’t mention the effort that they have gone to for this trip to happen so that their children don’t feel like a burden or forced to enjoy every modicum of this journey. Sometimes those trips end up just sucking, and it has nothing to do with the child.
14. Parents that expose their children to variety; different settings, different music, different books, different people, different perspectives, without judgment. Can you imagine how unsettling it would feel to have an opinion about something, but you don’t feel comfortable saying your perspective because you’ve been bombarded with what you have been told to believe?
15. Parents that laugh at their mistakes and make their children realize that they are human beings, and human beings make mistakes. What a wonderful lesson for children to realize that mistakes create growth and development if you look at it from a positive perspective.
So, those are just some of the things I think of when I think about my own experiences with children of varying age levels. Believe me; I am far from perfect…far, far, far. I have made mistakes with my own child and have regrets about some of my actions as a parent, a teacher and a human being in general. Being a parent/teacher/human being is an ever changing event, but it is through the seemingly innocent actions and words of my students that I have learned the importance of truth and compassion. Those kids are awesome, even with their manic moodiness and extravagant idiosyncrasies and if it can help me to be a better parent and teacher, I’ll take it. I’m thankful for every one of them.
www.kidshelpphone.ca
No comments:
Post a Comment