Hallucinogenic Artistry

I'm at home today with the flu, and in between bouts of sweating, and narcoleptic naps, I'm actually feeling extremely creative. What's up with that? I wish I had a bit more of a scientific/biological understanding of the brain, because I wonder if something happens to the mind when one is ill that can be found in the same section of the brain that is connected to creativity. It's an interesting theory if you think about it a bit and think about the stereotype that is connected to being an artist....that "crazy" stereotype of being a bit off kilter, a bit on the coo-coo, loopy, wacko, mentally ill side if you are an artist.  I can't help but thing of van Gogh (yet again) who brandished a razor at his buddy Gauguin, then turned around, went home and choppy-choppied his own ear LOBE (not his whole ear, as is the popular belief), wrapped it up, gave it to a prostitute, bled a bit and painted portraits of himself with a bandaged ear. His altered state induced a creative purge. (Please note that I do not endorse ear chopping to stimulate artistic endeavors in any way.)

I remember once in university I was brutally sick with some kind of flu bug, and a friend swung by with a can of chicken soup and to see how I was doing. By then I had completely overdosed on cough medication, and stood at the door blubbering in my housecoat. She immediately dragged me to her and her husband's house to take care of me (and make sure I didn't drink any more cough syrup). That night, they woke up to the sound of me roaming deliriously in their livingroom, cackling at something or another. They told me to go to bed, and I guess I did. I have no recollection of that moment in the middle of the night, but I had an amazing dream that night which I immediately painted when I got home. I dreamt that I was in a brilliant field of flowery, low rolling hills. But I wasn't me, I was a pixie. To be specific, I was the little Brownie pixie pin that I used to wear on my Brownie outfit when I was a kid. Seriously. I was a small, golden leaping pixie pin in a field, having a hell of a good time bouncing around on those hills. I gave the painting to my caregivers as a thank you gift. Hey, I was very poor and very young and really thought that was a nice gift to give someone. The point is, I would have never had that imagery come in to my mind if I hadn't been in an altered state. I just don't think of weird shit like that when I'm just being me. You do have to be a bit loopy to think of stuff like that.

I've had many dream induced moments since then, that have literally driven me from my bed to my studio in the middle of the night in a manic state. My mind is literally screaming, "WRITE THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW! PAINT THAT IMAGE RIGHT NOW!" and I can't rest until I do. And I certainly don't feel "like myself" when I'm doing this. A little part in the back of my mind is saying, "What the heck are you doing? Get back to bed you Nutball!" So maybe I don't have to be sick at all in order to have these imaginative rendezvous. Perhaps I just need to not be in a completely conscious state. Maybe that's what it is...

Let's look at my sister as an example; she has her own baking business. She is called, "The Midnight Baker" and she suits the title perfectly....she is baking at midnight, almost every single night. Sometimes I'll talk to her the next day and she'll say things like, "I got 3 hours of sleep last night! You should see the cake I made!" So, I'll go on Facebook and check out what she has made and HOLY CRAP! She has created sculptural masterpieces out of flour, sugar, milk and eggs. It really is insane. Hmmmmm...........is it really a form of insanity? My sister and I are molded from the same cloth. Maybe nobody else is like this at all and it's just me, my sister and van Gogh. hahaha No, I don't think so. I think we just take advantage of that mania and do something with it when that buzzing, frenetic energy seems to take over our mind and our hands. We create. We manically create. That's not such a bad thing.