Wonderful Worm(ies)

I have had a lot of people ask me about my vermi-composting methods, so I thought I'd take the time to blog about it, because it's just not one of those things that you can write in 200 characters or less on a Facebook status or Twitter. Mind you, I do compost so nonchalantly, that perhaps I could. It's really pretty basic; add red worms to bin of soil, randomly feed, they eat it, they poop, and then I put the poop in my garden. I really am a negligent worm mom. If my worms were children, they would have been taken away a long time ago.

Here's what I do;

1. I have a rubbermaid bin which has drilled holes on the bottom. It has a lid which also has drilled holes in it. This sits on a rubber boot mat on my basement floor. I didn't even do this on my own. A friend gave me his. Not saying that I can't use a drill. I'm a pretty handy worman....er....woman. ;)

2. I keep a compost bin on my kitchen counter, a small one that doesn't hold very much. We usually use the plastic containers that spinach comes in. From there, I either feed the worms, or dump it over my deck in a big compost bin full of frozen veggies and fruit that the ravens love. People that love us don't care that we have a bin full of coffee grounds and onion skins on our counter. They're cool like that. My friend, Lila, says that she chops up her food in the blender and then freezes it, thawing it out when the worms are ready. She's a good worm mom. :)

3. When I feed the worms, I am not very nice. I don't shred the food like I'm supposed to, or anything like that. They break it down on their own. I think they like it; it's a challenge and gives them something to do besides poop and roll around with their buddies.

4. I feed them pretty sporadically, usually about every two weeks. Supposedly they're supposed to get a pound of food every week, so I figure that I am doing the binge/purge thing with my worms. They all have eating disorders. I do make sure to disperse the food evenly throughout the bin, but I have heard that you can put all the food on one side, and they'll travel over to it, and then do the other side the next time you feed them.

5. If you don't like the feeling of worms or poop on your hands, then you probably shouldn't do composting at all. I am all about the feeling, so I like to get in there and move things around every once in a while and stir up those little gaffers. Sometimes I'm sure I can hear them say, "Yahoo!" in their small little wormy voice.

6. I rip up newspaper and throw it in there. Brad came home with a bag of shredded paper once, which was a real treat. I also keep a layer of newspaper on top of the soil/poop, just below the lid, so that fruit flies don't get in. You don't want fruit flies or they'll invade your whole house. Trust me. People say that you should moisten the newspaper, but I never have. It gets soggy on its own.

7. Once you're ready to use the worm poop, get another bin and fill it up with some of the wormy poop. Then take a garbage bag (just one layer of the bag) and poke holes in it. Drape it over the wormy poop and over the edges of the bin. Then put more wormy poop on top of this (about two or three inches deep), and put light on them. Worms aren't known for their suntanning abilities, so they'll shimmy down through the holes into the other layer that is below the bag. I've also heard that you can pile the poop into cones and shine light on them and the worms will just travel down to the bottom of the pile and you can scoop the poop/soil off the top.

8. Once winter is over, take those worms outside and let them enjoy the heat and moisture of your big outdoor compost bin. They'll have all of that food broken down in no time. Even faster than MC Hammer can break it down. Yeah, I know, that's a cheesy line, but it's what's stuck in my head right now.

9. Make sure once the temperature starts to get cold again, that you bring a good load of worms back into your bin in the basement, to start the negligent binge/purge process all over again. I have frozen one too many bins of worms to learn my lesson, and Dave Erb just keeps rolling his eyes at me every time I coerce him into giving me another bin of worms for a bottle of wine. I vow this time, that my worms are going to have children, and great grandchildren, and so on, and so on.

10. That's it. Easy. But do you want to know a cool side note about worms? You know how you'll be walking down the road on a rainy day and you'll see worms all over the road? Well, most people think that it's because they get washed out of their worm holes, but that's not true. They actually take advantage of the rain to travel. It allows them to get from point A to point B quicker, usually to fornicate. So, these little worms are surfin' for love!!! So when you see me walking down the road picking up worms on a rainy day, you'll know that it's because I'm a die hard romantic. I just want them to get to the other side of the road to meet their lover.