Facebook Friends, Fans and Foes

I love Facebook. I love being able to chat with Steph daily when she lives across the country. I can hear her voice in the comments that are sent to me and enjoy the banter back and forth. I love that I have reconnected with long lost cousins and take the time to stop and visit them on my journeys when I travel. I found several of those cousins in a Facebook group about "Bobinski's". I love the fact that I found my old public school friend and plan on meeting up with her in our hometown next summer to reminisce about our childhood. I love the fact that in my 37 years I have somehow been able to connected to hundreds and hundreds of people, and we like each other enough that we want to know about each other….even if just a little bit, for just a little snippet of a bit in our day. This form of communication simply would not occur for me if it was just happening through emails or telephone calls. Anyone that knows me knows that I actually despise communicating on the phone. I don't like to sit in one spot for too long and being on the phone makes me way too idle. That's another reason why Facebook works for me…..it works for my ADHD tendencies, and I can bounce back and forth between household chores, bike rides, kitchen dance parties and the like and still have the time to stop, take pause and throw a quick "howdy" to my sister where as otherwise I may have said nothing. (Teresa rarely leaves messages on my answering machine anymore because she says there's no point….I don't return calls. She's right. But I return a Facebook. It's faster. I do like to talk, I just have some kind of weird thing about phones which could be a whole other blog in itself.)

So who was it that said that today's generation is "disconnected"? I think people are communicating more now than ever before. Kids are texting maniacs. I can't believe that sometimes I hear myself saying to one of my students, "Text her and find out if she's coming to school today." Comments that come up between "mutual friends" on Facebook end up being discussed at further length. Links of interest are being sent to others. Information is being tossed around and words are flying like never before, zinging passed our eyes and ears, being quickly bitten and consumed. We are evolving into constant communicators and I'm digging it…..for the most part. We're getting to know our friends just that much more, and that isn't something to be ashamed about. 


But then there's this; 


I've curiously started to notice discretions in the terminology that is out there in Facebook land regarding "friends". I have a multitude of "friends" on Facebook and at one point I did start to do a bit of categorizing of those friends, and then thought, well, that's pretty stereotypical and judgmental of me, isn't it? Why am I categorizing these people? For some reason or another, we have decided that we want to know about each other's life in some small or big way and that's all I need to do with this list of interesting characters. To be fair though, I do have a list of "limited profile" friends, but that is simply to protect my privacy from the high school students I teach. They just don't need to know about all aspects of my life, but it doesn't mean that I don't want to share with them. When they graduate, I take them off of the limited profile, and then they find out that my life is basically what they expected it to be, give or take a bit. On top of this, I also have a fan page, where I showcase my art work and different artistic endeavors that I am attempting to undertake, and have a very nice fan base there. Now this is where I find that the terminology gets blurred. As far as I'm concerned, if a person is going out of their way to add my fan page to their own page, I am honoured by the respect they have given me as an artist. I appreciate that and consider that a kind gesture. A good handful of these people are not on my personal homepage's friend list, but a majority of them are. So if a stranger wants to add me as a "friend", I usually oblige, after doing a bit of research and letting my spidey senses check things out. Instinct is still handy when looking at a computer screen. We are still conscious after all. 


So what has triggered me to write this blog anyway? I'm pissed off. Let me tell you why. There are a lot of other artists and musicians and creative beings out there that are taking advantage of this situation and using Facebook as a catalyst for their own "stardom" without giving their fans a modicum of respect. They have not distinguished between fans and friends, so when a fan becomes a friend on their personal list (because after all, it might help in getting a Juno/Grammy/reward some day) they oblige but do not acknowledge that person. Statistically, things look good because they have "x" amount of "friends" when in actuality they have a group of strangers on their friend list that they will never consider acknowledging and that to me is just downright rude. Oh sure, there will be blanket statements of gratitude, but will they really take the time to communicate with individuals if push comes to shove? Nope. Probably not. Excuses such as being too busy, or on the road, or in the studio come up, and if that's the case, then they should probably consider not using Facebook or other sites such as Twitter as a communication tool for their creative endeavors. They should delete their group, delete their fan page, or have someone with human qualities, such as compassion and respect, at least administrate the site for them. If someone writes on my fan page wall, I am going to make sure to respond to that person. I figure not doing so is the same as being acknowledged at the post office by a stranger with a "good morning" or a tip of a hat and not responding in a similar fashion or not responding at all. That certainly wouldn't be nice now, would it? It's just common courtesy to give a small returning gesture and that's what makes us human. That is where the disconnect happens. Not in the using of Facebook, it's in the ignorant use of Facebook. 

Will it change? Will people out there in Facebook land see that creating a fan page is a hugely conscious undertaking that needs to be thoroughly considered before being created? Again, probably not. These people are unfortunately, riding on the coattails of their fans with swelled heads of idolization. They're using the adage, "But I'm giving them my music, or my art. I am sharing with them. I'm sharing my passion with the world" and blah, blah, blah, crappity crap. But that creativity should occur regardless of whether they have the fans on Facebook or not (if they are true to their art form). So it comes down to this…..technology can work to our advantage here. Call these fan page creators on their actions. Start asking them about their art, their music, their style, their drive, their passion. Learn about them, learn from them. And if they're not willing to share, then take advantage of technology and delete them, because ultimately, they really aren't that personable after all. Hang on to the human beings that will tip their hat to you, even if for just a bit. Because you're a human being with your own thoughts, and you deserve that respect.