Christmas Tradition

Ah, Christmas is coming so quickly, and I am seeing a lot of haggard people desperately, frantically pulling out their wallets in the hopes that this year will be "the perfect Christmas". It certainly isn't my favourite season as everyone, including myself, gets swept up in the commercialism, and expectations, and expenses. Now I'm sure that you're probably thinking to yourself, "Oh, here comes righteous Rhonda to tell us that Christmas is about spirit, and giving, and loving and blah, blah, blah", so I don't have to bother you with drivel. I can cut right to the chase. Christmas equates to indulgence. Christmas sorts out the haves and the have nots, in the most horrible of ways. I would hate to be that "have not" kid that has to go back to school after the holidays and listen to one of the "have" kids talk about allllll of the stuff they got for Christmas. You know, growing up, we certainly weren't rich by any stretch of the imagination, but we still got gifts. Some are even very memorable....(Grade 4, my "satin steel" drum kit; I would put my Joan Jett "I Love Rock n' Roll" album on with my head phones plugged in, and whack away at those drums like a real rock star.) And at the time, I probably didn't think to NOT brag about getting that drum kit, and I don't recall my teacher saying anything to us about just keeping our newly acquired treats to ourselves, but in retrospect, we definitely should have had that discussion. Almost 30 years later, I am ashamed of my blatant disrespect for others with my innocent chatter of Christmas cheer.

Christmas time also makes me think about the child who lives in a separated home, as my child does. Some children actually have to make the decision on their own, as to whether they are going to have Christmas with their mom or their dad. Some times they have to actually leave their primary home and leave their friends for the holidays to go and see the other parent in a different town or province. I don't know about you, but I think if I was that kid, there might be a little bit of resentment that my parents couldn't get their shit together and help with that decision making. My own child is lucky in the sense that he has two separated parents that don't hate each other, and have an amicable set up for the holidays. It doesn't make it easy though. It really sucks that I don't get to wake my son up every Christmas morning and share that experience with him immediately. I have to wait my turn every second year. But I'm not pouting about it, because I think the alternative would be worse. It just makes me upset to think that parents can be excruciatingly selfish during the Christmas season instead of thinking about how much stress they could be putting onto their own child.

And then there is the gift stress.....are they going to like the gifts? (Yes, I purposely pluralized gifts, because we live in a one-isn't-enough-anymore society). Is this gift educational? Is this gift functional? Is this gift expressive of my feelings for this person, rendering it special and personal? Is this gift going to collect dust in their closet after I spent "x" amount of hours working on it, or "x" amount of dollars on it? It becomes a judgment call in the end, and that is excruciatingly painful and frustrating to have to do sometimes. Sometimes I think that I'm just going to stop buying gifts for everyone and instead, start buying sheep and chickens and cows for families around the world  in my friend's and family's' name, but (I'll admit it) I'm still buying in to the pressure of tradition. As I type this, there is a decorated Christmas tree to my left, and  blinky lights flashing to my right, mistletoe hanging in my dining area and glittery goop, et al adorning every nook and cranny of my house. I like the schmulk yet I'm torn between reveling in it and feeling guilty that not all can.

*Sigh* I guess that I have made some small changes though. I have started to tell friends that I'm just not doing the Christmas gift thing anymore and for the most part, they're OK with that. I don't send out Christmas cards anymore; instead I send out a Christmas email which I think is the same thing, it's just electronic. As a family, we have decided that next year we will draw names for gifts, which will alleviate a lot of stress as well. So perhaps with that extra money, next year, I can buy a couple herds of cows for a family somewhere. That would make me happy.

Yeesh. I sound pretty bitter. Really, Christmas isn't complete drudgery for me. I get to raid my mom's cold storage room and eat her yummy homemade perogies and cabbage rolls. My son and I sing Christmas carols together every night for a couple weeks before the big day, and now that Alexander can play the guitar it's an even more exciting adventure. We're rocking that Rudolph song. (Singing Christmas carols will always remind me of my childhood with my sister, sitting in our big flannel pajamas, singing together, for what seemed like hours some times.) And we always have a craft day, where we make something laden with glue and glitter. This year my adorable nephew joined in on the tradition. Cookies are always baked...(this year I'm going to try to make something with tofu). We check out the parade and get pretty excited when we see Santa (except if Alexander's friends are around because that would be "TOTALLY EMBARRASSING, MOM!!!!") We hang out with our dear friends and have sliding parties and eat goodies. Like I said, it's indulgent. But I hope it's indulgent in love, and sharing, family and friendship.

I hope that you too are privileged to enjoy that bit of indulgence, and remember those that aren't as fortunate to have those opportunities.

Merry Christmas to you and yours.

The Gift of the Magi (as sung by the Squirrel Nut Zippers) 

My heart is sad, my soul is weary

Though Christmas day is fast appear'n.

I have no silver, I have no gold
To buy my wife a gift this year.
To see her sad on Christmas morning
Is a thing I cannot bear
I'll pawn the watch my father gave me
To buy a comb for her hair

Oh mother, mother what shall I do?
Though Christmas day is fast appear'n.
I have no silver, I have no gold
To buy my love a gift this year.
For I am poor and I'm a beggar
Not a cent have I, no dime I claim
I'll trade the golden hair that is our pleasure
'Buy for your watch a golden chain

Darling, darling today is christmas
What has become of your golden hair?
For I've traded our only treasure
These silver combs for you to wear.

Darling, darling we've lost our treasure
My gift to you is a golden chain.
Though we've pawned away our only pleasures,
These gifts we give are not in vain.

The wise men came on Christmas morning
Their gifts of love they came to bear
From that day on always remembered
Our own true love forever share"