Kitsch Tchotchkes

Yes, this is an ornament. I don't understand. I.just.don't. 

Kitsch tchotchkes; say that five times fast. We all have them, we’ve all anxiously given them as last minute gifts, and we have all embarrassingly received them as well. A tchotchke is a small, miscellaneous object of some kind, usually in the form of a souvenir. I've heard them called everything from dust collectors to crap, but there’s always a connotation of worthlessness attached to them. That’s where the word “kitsch” comes in, referring to that said object as tacky. It is an adjective for super cheesy junk and it is a bizarre sub-genre of the art and design world.

 Sometimes I stand in awe at the small figurines I see in stores and shake my head. Somebody actually walked into a manufacturing company and said, “I have an idea. Why don’t we make a statue of a mother unicorn with soft multi-coloured hair made out of squirrel tails, nestling its purple glitter baby unicorn, sitting on a rainbow that is in the shape of a heart.” And someone says, “YES! LET’S MAKE TEN THOUSAND OF THEM!” And then they end up in the bargain bin with a huge orange super sale sign on them because who the heck would buy something like that at full retail price?!!! And then your child buys it for you as a mother’s day gift because they’re five and they like glittery unicorns and the bargain bin just happens to be at their eye level and within easy reach of their little squishy hands. These marketing geniuses are pulling at the heart strings of every five year old in the world. The bastards.

Kitsch tchotchkes fascinate me because they muster up thoughts of the absurd. One of my favourite things to do is go to Value Village and peruse the kitsch tchotchke shelf. Again, the management is on to something here because it’s always the first shelf you see when you walk into any Value Village. It’s brilliant. You are pulled in by the kitsch; you laugh, your mood is lightened, and then you end up spending $50 on a bunch of pants that don’t fit you. Or maybe that’s just me.

And I have this habit of photographing my favourites and posting the photos on Instagram or Facebook. Sometimes when I do, people say things like, “I can’t believe you didn’t buy that!” Really? I am a photograph hoarder, not a kitsch tchotchke hoarder, thank you very much!  They are delightful to look at, and giggle at, but I definitely don’t want this stuff in my house. But I am more than aware that people dedicate full china cabinets to tchotchkes, getting full pleasure out of them, and secretly revelling in the fact that these objects of desire are safe from the harm of dust and accidental breakage. To each their own, I guess. Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder and who are we to judge what is considered a fantastic piece of sculptural art versus a tacky hunk of resin junk?

If you are interested in continuing on this quest for quirky, might I suggest you start at this website? www. museumofbadart.org. Again, you are also welcome to check out my photos on Instagram under the username Bobeckman.  If you’d like to take this a step further, send me a photo of your favourite kitsch tchotchke at funkydoodad@hotmail.com  Happy hunting!

Here is a picture of a baby elephant zookeeper in coveralls tending to a wild elephant. 

This article was originally posted in The Northern Sun without pictures. So, here are the pictures. You can't read this article without the pictures!